Melancholy

All weekend I have been thinking about this quote from a web page about the four humors:

"In the melancholic the physical body is master over the others. Melancholics feel they are not master over their body, that they cannot bend it to their will. The physical body, which is intended to be an instrument of the higher members, is itself in control, and frustrates the others. Melancholics experience this as pain, as a feeling of despondency. Pain continually wells up within them because the physical body resists the etheric body's inner sense of well-being, the astral body's liveliness, and the ego's purposeful striving."

I have never read a better description of how I feel when I am depressed. I feel trapped by my body. Sometimes I want to get up and do something, anything, but I actually can't because my body won't allow me to do it, as if the nerve impulses don't reach the muscles. My main thought is "why bother?" Even in my own home I sometimes feel inhibited from moving, as if I were hiding from some predator and had to stay still. When I am home alone, I don't know what to do with myself, and I feel uncomfortable at those times. I hate exercising, it makes me feel vulnerable. My body is in charge.

Not to overdo the physical body thing, as sometimes I feel trapped by my own mind. Like when you are drunk and you wish you weren't but know it takes time for the alcohol to work it's way through your system, when I am depressed I can tell that I am at the mercy of the chemicals in my brain, but I can't make them go away until they get metabolized away.